For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
