so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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