Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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