we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
