On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
the liver wants what the liver wants
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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