You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
