return my video game
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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