the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
