boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You pole danced in your parka.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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