I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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