The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I love you. Go after that dick
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
