Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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