I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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