And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
