I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
