I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
