Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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