Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Randomize
