Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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