Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
