I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Randomize
