I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i've created a new STD.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
