too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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