Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
