My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
