Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
