Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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