I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize