eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
