windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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