the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
