I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize