Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
