You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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