you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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