Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
