New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
