Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
