oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
