i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
