Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
