VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
they need to just BURY HIM!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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