There is no way he is gay with that hair.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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