It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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