Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
