Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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