Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
