Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
