It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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