tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
