so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
