FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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