The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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