Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
