he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
