Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize