My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
dude. I can hear the air.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
