Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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