Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
