i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
