That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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