At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
