woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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