Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
